Family Dynamics

These are my true feelings and if you don't want to know what they are ... STOP READING NOW!

At this time of year I find myself thinking about Family. I find myself envious of those that talk with their siblings all the time. Scott's family reaches out to one another and treats me as a sister and not just someone married into their family. We get together several times a year and communicate regularly online or via the telephone. I know they love me as much as I love them and it's wonderful.

My Grandma opening the pot I made for her in High School.

I love my siblings but I always wonder if I died tomorrow would they even miss me. Do I ever even cross their minds throughout the year? Once or twice a year is about all I hear from some of them and some I never hear from at all. It's just really odd being the oldest of 6 and still feeling like an only child. Makes me wonder why on Earth people put such an emphasis on never having an "only". I have a total of 4 nieces and 4 nephews on my side but only really "know" 3 of them well enough to get loving hugs and a cheerful reception. They warm my heart beyond measure and I love them so much. I love the rest of them dearly but don't really know them. I try to do something for them all at Christmas but never know if they like what I come up with or not. Perhaps it's because I was raised in a completely different environment by someone much older than our Mother. My opinions and views on life are so very different from the rest as well. Sometimes I truly believe the stork dropped me down the wrong chimney.

I'm just being reflective tonight... no worries.