August 1,2007

I've been wondering why I'm feeling so depressed the past few days; I didn't know if it was because of the lack of time at home and being away from Scott so much or Tim leaving as I have grown to respect him as a person and looked forward to his encouragement. And then tonight it dawned on me... my BABY will turn 21 in 20 days. No more little boy looking for a hug; no costumes to make for Halloween, and no "little extra's" to be made for classmates. I know it's been a long time since any of that actually happened but the thought of him being 21 is really affecting me soul deep. I spent 18 years of my life home with him and now we rarely see him and life has changed so much. So many changes all at once has really thrown me a curve. I will prevail but not knowing what tomorrow may bring is a bit unnerving. Scott has his surgery next week and I am more worried than I thought that I would be. My two fella's mean the world to me and I can't imagine a day without either in my life.

Tim's leaving was unexpected but it is what he needs to do for himself as well as his family and I wish him well. The uncertainty of who will come after is a bit scary but I will do my best for whomever that is as well. And if things don't go well I guess I can always find something else. I would really miss the gals I work with immensely. But I won't cross that bridge just yet.